Essays — January 27, 2015 12:35 — 0 Comments

Superbands

The Seattle Seahawks are a star-studded football team on the verge of back-to-back championships (fingers crossed, knock on wood!!). The city’s music scene, both past and present, is also full of recognizable faces and all-stars at their craft. So, we thought we’d have a little fun as we approach the big game to try and figure out who, among our most well known sonic stars, would play the most important positions on the gridiron during the Superbowl on Feb. 2nd (if such fantasies were to be made real). Here goes!

 

Quarter Back – Russell Wilson – Shana Cleveland

Russell Wilson is a laid back leader capable of valiant efforts on the big stage and emotional moments off it. His big brown eyes exhibit a sense of composure and understanding as if he can tell the future. La Luz’s Shana Cleveland gives off a similar sense of even-keeled-psychic-ness when playing her energetic, intricate surf rock. She is the leader and front woman of her band and, we can say confidently, could lead anyone towards the big prize and promised land.

Running Back – Marshawn Lynch – Spekulation

There is no musician in The Emerald City more associated with Lynch than rapper/producer Spekulation. His “All About That Action, Boss” beat last year went Viral with a capitol “V”, getting played more than a quarter-million times in two weeks. The two are introverted souls capable of putting their head down and barreling through trouble and both like to wear flashy shoes, Lynch with his golden cleats and Spek rocking Jordan’s.

Wide Receiver – Doug Baldwin – Allen Stone

Not the biggest cats on the scene, and at times are looked over for their greatness, Stone and Baldwin have a lot in common. They both come up big when the moment calls – Stone with his golden voice on those high, high notes, and Baldwin with a catch as the seconds tick down in regulation and over time. Pair Baldwin with Wilson and Stone with Cleveland and you have a duo who can do it all.

Wide Receiver – Jermaine Kearse – Macklemore

Homegrown talents, Macklemore and Kearse shine brightest in the big arenas. Both took hits in the recent past from critics – Mack with his disguise at the EMP and Kearse with his misses/drops in the NFC Championship – but, in the end, both repped Seattle with monstrous gains approaching god-like status. People love to criticize these two, but, in the end, they’re standing tall, #1.

Tight End – Luke Wilson – Duff McKagan

Under the radar but supremely important, Luke Wilson caught maybe the biggest pass (besides Kearse’s) in the NFC Championship – that clutch 2-point conversion Hail Mary – while McKagan continues to promote, appreciate and promulgate the Seattle scene, keeping it at it’s championship-level. There is no one you’d want more in the trenches blocking for you and rolling out for necessary grabs than Wilson, just like you’d want no other playing bass for you in the biggest show of the year.

Defensive Back – Richard Sherman – Mike McCready

We all know Sherman is one of the loudest and loquacious in the game – also one of football’s best. McCready, similarly, can wail, screech and rock with his signature leads. Capable of playing the whole field is Sherman, just as McCready can play the entire neck of the guitar with ease, these men can both improvise and support their fellow players. McCready, known for us work with his Crohn’s foundation, can also play hurt just as Sherman continued to tackle opponents with his bum shoulder in the NFC Championship.

Safety – Earl Thomas – Prometheus Brown

These guys keep it funky and keep it real. They’re figures who appreciate family and who often come up with the game-winning inspirational play. When you first begin to learn about Seattle music, you find out about Brown, who has been influential in so many people’s successes, and when you first learn about the Seahawks and their defense, you immediately are guided to Thomas, the Legion of Boom’s backbone.

Safety – Kam Chancelor – Ahamefule J. Oluo

In football you need to know there is someone who has your back, someone who will make sure, despite a possible error in judgment, that you will not be lost, someone who is there to support you in trying times. For the Seahawks, it’s the strong-bodied and strong-minded Chancelor. For the Seattle music scene, this is Oluo, who is just a talented a player as he is an inspirational thinker. Both are versatile at their craft and both are essential to the entire city’s cumulative success.

Kicker – Steven Hauschka – Ben Gibbard

Soft-spoken and sometimes forgotten, but someone who might, when it’s all said and done, be the city’s most valuable player, Gibbard and Hauschka are all-time leading scorers whether you consider all the field goals and extra points or you consider the vast appeal and sales of Death Cab for Cutie and Postal Service. Don’t forget about these guys – if you do, it’s your loss.

Coaching Staff – Pete Carroll and Darrell Bevell – Shabazz Palaces

Coaches are guiding lights. So are Shabazz Palaces. Unique, outside the box thinkers, Carroll and Bevell have revolutionized the way people think about football. The same is easily said for Ishmael Butler and Tendai Maraire, two necessary voices when approaching the great unknown. Follow these men to Greatness – capitol “G”.

Bio:

Jake Uitti is a founding editor of The Monarch Review.

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The answer isn't poetry, but rather language

- Richard Kenney